Facts Don’t Change People’s Minds. These Do.

We’re all so conscious of the political divide in today’s world. Friendships and families torn apart. And many of us heart-centered types would love to see greater reconciliation and mutual understanding.

Unfortunately, arguing with facts does not impact people’s opinions on such hot button topics as abortion, gun control, and immigration. 

Not one bit.

You know what does?

Storytelling.

I recently came across a New Yorker article reviewing a new book by moral psychologist Kurt Gray. Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How To Find Common Ground. Here’s an excerpt:

He starts with the don’ts. A big one is: Don’t imagine that facts are convincing. Gray cites a study from 2021 in which researchers argued with strangers about gun control. Half the time, the researchers tried to bolster their case with facts. The rest of the time, they offered stories, one of which involved a relative who had been wounded by a stray bullet. (The relative, though made up, was presented as real.) The encounters were taped, so that the conversations could later be analyzed. Strangers who were offered anecdotes were, it turned out, much more willing to engage with the researchers than those offered data were. The group that got stories also treated their interlocutors with more respect.

Stories. 

Our human brains instantly snap to attention when we hear stories. We read on. We listen. And we do so with greater compassion and respect.

So let’s share our stories. At the water cooler. Over coffee. At the dinner table.

Aloha,
MeiMei

Tip of the Week: Swap Stories

• Invite a colleague, family member or friend with differing political views to swap stories with you. 
• You might begin with a prompt such as, “What was a time when you felt inspired lately?”
• Then, you might dig into something deeper. “Here’s why I care about affirmative action. When I was in college, my friend Brandon…” and tell the story of how that person’s life was impacted by a particular policy.
• Make sure to invite the other person to share a story as well.
• Then go home and write about it. What did you learn? How were you challenged? What would you do differently next time?

Quote of the Week

There isn’t anyone we can’t learn to love once we know their story.

• Mister Rogers